Owen's Cookbook Part 1

In what I hope will become a regular installment I will share with you my attempts at food preparation.

Whether you are on the go or just fancy a case of the runs, try Owen's First Ever Omelette Surprise.

Ingredients:
Too much Oil
Too much Butter
Too much Milk
3 Eggs
Half a baguette
Peppered Salami
Random Swiss Cheese
Half Litre Orange Juice

Simply whip the eggs into submission adding a bit too much milk and using a fork that you hope is clean that you found lying on the counter. When that's a bit yellow or any other primary colour get a frying pan, again hoping it's reasonably clean and then add too much oil and too much butter to the pan. When that's sizzling away pour the eggy mixture into the frying pan and gasp as it is envelopped in too much oil and butter.

Cook for what seems like an eternity before adding the random salami and random cheese, that you didn't realise was a soft tasteless cheese, to the egg. When your positive it is done. Slop it on a plate, garnish with half a baguette and wash it down with half a litre of Orange juice to ensure the taste is fully gone.

More cooking tips once I get out of the bathroom...