Hungary: Day 6 - The Competition...

...All of it that I would be involved in.

Hmm... what went wrong I still haven't analysised my performance yet. Haven't yet picked it apart for something to learn, for something to grow from, from what was probably my least impressive performance at this level to date. So, I'm doing this analysis as I write this post.

To lose all my poule matches did not feel good. In fact it felt like a kick in the teeth... it felt like every time I feel I'm making progress I land on a snake that sends me all the way back to square one... I felt absolutely terrible.

Outside of the European championships this has probably been my hardest tournament. For the mean time I feel nothing but doubt. I hope I will recover from this immediate state but I just feel like I have so far to go to compete at this level, that I have such a gap to bridge and such a mountain to climb coming from my situation.

Actually, screw that... screw feeling sorry for myself... I just need to work harder, to take my training to the next level of intensity, to up my fitness - to get faster and to think better. So I'm over that momentary depression this post has been very therapeutic for me.

In the poule I had Igoe (USA) #105 in world, Lamboley (FRA) junior world #1, Bravo (VEN) #41 in world, Stanislawski (POL) junior world #24, Kocsis (HUN) world #102. Actually, having looked up the fencers in the poule make me feel somewhat better... for me to have beaten any of them would have been a big upset, they're all very established interational fencers.

I was training with Igoe all week and he joked afterwards that he'd learned all my secrets, my retort to this was that I didn't use any of them anyway. This was yet another attack of first match gitters for me. Where I should have used the first match to use the full length of the piece and clear out any cobwebs - I was snatching at oppurtunities and didn't make the most of any of them. A very disappointing 5-1 defeat.

I knew I had to lift my game for second match if I was to stay in this tournament and I felt I responded reasonably well. I was moving freely and chased him down the piste. The little shit score keeper would change the score before the referee had given the point one way or another. After a point I saw the score 4-3 and the referee had awarded the point to me but the score did not increase I pointed this out to the ref but he said the score was correct. I should have been focusing on the next point, which I lost - 5-3.

I'd been watching the Venezualan in previous matches and he had struggled in some and I half fancied my chances. The referee however had already decided I was shit and was determined not to give me anything. I saw my opponent stop his attack dead, I attacked - point to the Venezualan. This happened at least twice in this match and was the difference between us in the end.

I'd been impressed by Stanislawski in the matches I watches him in and new he had a good parry. I was determined not to rush my attacks and tried to bring him out of the centre of the piste as much as possible. Things didn't really go to plan and the final hit despite my feeling that I had collects his blade and reposted was given his way. (I hate referees).

Knowing that I was out of the tournament and with nothing left to fight for but pride didn't make the last match easy and when I saw it slipping away from me I could do little to rouse myself into action. A few dodgy calls by the referee and a salute later and I was confirmed out of the tournament. My first time at this level to have lost all my poule matches.