Yay! Dealing with French Banks!

On Tuesday, I went about ordering my new French Bank card. There is a HSBC not too far away from me and so I strolled in to see if they could help me.

In some of the best French I have ever spoken I explained to them:

"My bank card was lost in Hungary and I've cancelled it. Can I get a new one?"
The Teller who I explained this to understood perfectly but at this point her superior interjected.
"You ze card with Ash-Ess-Bae-See?"
No, I'm just here to annoy you. "Yes, of course my carte bleu was lost and I had it cancelled"
"It's a French Card?"
Not being able to control my annoyance at these questions which were coming from her assumption that I was the stupid one, I answered sarcastically - "We don't have Carte Blue in Ireland so I am certain it is a french Card! I have a French bank account with HSBC. I cancelled my lost card, now can I order a new one!"
"Do you 'ave an account in zis branch?"
"No"
"Well Zhen you ave to go to your own branch to order it."
"But that is over the other side of the city and I have no money because I cancelled my cards. Can I not order a new one here?"
"Well we can give you money here but not order the card"
"Can I move my account to here?"
"Yes but you have to phone your branch for zat because it is on a different system"
"Fine, just give me some money then"

When I got to my own branch on Place Monge, not for the first time, I was held up in the security door and asked if I had an account there. I held up my cheque-book as proof and was allowed enter.

When I reached the cashier it was all going swimmingly up until the point where she explained that the card and new pincode would be sent to the branch. Fantastic! And zis will take about a week wiz zhe pin cod arriving at a few days later. Can I not get it sent to my apartment? No.

As it happens while I was waiting to be served I noticed a chart with the various banking fees. These included a €20 fee for cancelling a card and a €10 fee for the issue of a new card. Fantastic, thanks a lot HSBC!

...

That night at training it felt as if I had been away for ages and it was good to be back... up until the point someone mentioned about the rugby.